10 ways to de-stress

Written by Marcia Plasters, LCPC, BCC

Westview Counseling, Coaching & Consulting PLLC

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." - Franklin Dr. Roosevelt.

Stress rises and falls like the waves on an ocean. Sometimes we see it coming, other times we're blindsided. Learn how to go with the flow and keep your head above water until the sea is calm once again - and it will be - it's just a matter of time.

Hello and welcome to my blog post! Has 2020 been one of the most stressful years for you? With COVID hitting us like a tsunami we didn't see coming, it's no wonder stress levels are elevated to an all time high. From job loss or carrying the workload of furloughed coworkers PLUS your own job to the collective grief as we hear of thousands of lives lost, young and old, we are globally stressed in ways most of us have never experienced. What has been the most challenging for you? How well are you coping?

The list could go on about the hundreds of ways our lives have changed - and we probably all agree that change isn't always easy. The following tips are ways I work on managing my own stress levels and I hope you find some of them helpful.

1. Practice self-care every single day. Self care doesn't have to cost anything except some time and intention on your part. Make a list of self-care activities and choose at least 1 a day. Remember to let go of any related guilty feelings. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Self neglect only leaves you tired, resentful and not as available for those you love. Maybe it's going on a hike, painting your nails, meditating every morning - whatever it is just do it! As I'm writing this, I have a moisturizing facial going on and will hit the bike trail later. What makes you feel good and cared for that you can do for yourself today? #selfcare

2. Have fun and schedule things to look forward to! Laughter is good medicine for the soul! Watch a favorite comedy, hang out with someone who lightens the mood, play a game or just have a dance party all by yourself! True confessions: I bought a karaoke machine a year ago and once in a while it's calling my name so I turn the dance lights on and sing my favorite songs - to my audience of one - my awesome cat, Zeus who tolerates it. : ) But it is F-U-N Fun! I also have some getaways planned this fall and can't wait to spend time with people I care about and be in nature. How do you like to have fun? What's something you can plan and look forward to? Put it on your calendar and follow through! #havefun #planfunthings #schedulefun

3. Practice Gratitude! Say out loud every morning, "I am thankful for..." and name as many things as possible. It's amazing what an instant mood lifter this is! For years I have kept a gratitude journal for writing about only the things for which I am thankful. I love going through it once in a while and being reminded of the good things in my life. The cool thing about keeping a journal is throughout the day or week you're more aware and notice things, big or small, that you can put in your journal. What are you thankful for? #gratitude

4. Exercise! I don't care what it is, just move! Aerobic exercise such as swimming, cycling, dancing, walking, gardening have proven to reduce anxiety and depression. Weight lifting builds muscle and makes us strong and yoga has a ton of benefits. Whatever it is, be intentional about carving time out every day for movement. What's your favorite form of exercise? Are you willing to commit to some type of movement every day? #move

5. Plan 1 nutritious meal a day. Okay, so I am one to talk - it's so easy to stand at the kitchen bar and mindlessly munch on cheese and crackers when I'm busy and not in the mood to cook. But on the days when I take the time to prepare at least 1 healthy meal a day with lean protein, leafy greens and let's say.... some quinoa (pronounced keen-wa), I feel better! Try it - it doesn't have to be fancy, but plan a healthy meal and relax and enjoy with a candle and soothing music. You will be honoring your body's needs. What's your favorite healthy meal? #eathealthy

6. Take your vitamins! Speaking of nutrition, I am a big fan of vitamins and supplements. Ideally we get all our nutrients through our diet but let's be real, that just doesn't always happen right? Get your levels checked - ask your doctor about getting labs for Vitamin B and D. Low levels can result in low energy, fatigue, low mood, weakness and much more. Are you levels at an optimal range? #vitaminsrock

7. Stay connected. Social distancing, while important, has taken its toll. Even introverts need a sense of connection. Text, call and connect with at least 1 person every day. Since COVID, my family has a "Fam Jam" on zoom - I have family scattered all over the US and it's a great way to see everyone. Sometimes the "facilitator" will ask 1 or 2 questions like: If you had to vacate your premise immediately, what would you take with you? I know - a comforting question right?! Or we all tell a joke. And whatever your comfort zone is for socializing in person, be okay with it, be smart and avoid judging others on their choices. How do you stay connected and avoid a sense of isolation. #stayconnected

8. Nurture your spirituality. This is defined differently for everyone. But whatever it is, nurture this aspect of your life. For me, being in nature is my thing and how I feel most in tune with my inner self, my soul and the Universe and the Divine. I'm reminded the world is a huge place - much bigger than my problems and there is comfort in that. What gives your life meaning and purpose? How do you connect with your inner self? What enables a sense of connection to something bigger than yourself? Maybe journal about these questions and talk about it with a trusted friend. #spirituality

9. Just Breathe! Recently my niece was telling me about breathwork and the huge difference it's made in her life. I remember in my grad class, Stress Management, I learned diaphragmatic breathing or "belly breathing" and I tell you what, it was not easy! It took some practice in discerning the difference between chest breathing and breathing from the diaphragm. I am here to say it really works. Studies show it reduces the stress hormone cortisol in the body and relieves stress and anxiety. Have you tried deep breathing? How does it help you? #justbreathe #deepbreathing

10. Maintain a Helpful Mindset. Dr Aaron T. Beck, father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), found that a person's mood is directly related to the way they think and perceive events. For example, if I get a C+ instead of the A that I think I deserved, I may end up feeling inadequate and like a failure. From there, I may feel anxious about my future and think I'll end up homeless on the streets. As silly as this sounds, this is how our anxious brain works sometimes! The "cognitive distortions" at play here are labeling, overgeneralization, all or nothing thinking, jumping to conclusions, disqualifying the positive and catastrophizing. If I change the way I think and tell myself "Just because I didn't get the grade I wanted, doesn't mean I'm a loser" along with recalling past successes, I can change the way I feel. By changing how I feel, I am then freed up to make positive choices that help me reach my goals which in turn is a mood booster. Get my drift? The cycle between our thoughts, moods and behaviors is powerful. David D. Burns, author of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy,is a great read for anyone interested in learning more about CBT. Could you use a few tweaks in your mindset? Do you engage in self-defeating thoughts? How can you challenge your thoughts to improve your mood and well being?

Well, that's all I have for now. Thanks for stopping by. Below is a favorite quote that seems fitting with this post. Keep on surfin'!

"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." - Jon Kabat-Zan -